It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize