butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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