Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
