That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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