Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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