Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize