Christians are straight up FREAKS
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
