why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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