question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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