So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
