YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
