I look better un-naked...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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