Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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