I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize