He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
