then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
