Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
