he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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