it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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