I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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