your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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