when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
