Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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