doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
