At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
