did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
