Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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