Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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