I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Randomize
