He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
