too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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