I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
