Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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