For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
