Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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