so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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