when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
tell me about the fingering
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