so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
this boner is exhausting
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
