quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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