i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
