I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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