just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
