oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
