So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
