If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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