Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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