It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
