It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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