So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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