what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
