Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
