just come out here and I will go home with you...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
