Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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