So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Sorry about my life...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
