Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
