I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
