my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
