Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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