I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
