I cannot find my penis.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
