they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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