for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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