I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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