party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She's the barista slut.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm both gender and math confused
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
