I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize