Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize